You Just Kinda Want It


Yesterday morning I hit the snooze button one too many times. Sleep, sleep, need more sleep. My little Chloe sounds like Darth Vadar and she invades my room at night, silently slipping under the covers, but once she falls asleep I feel as though the house is gonna come down she is so loud. I ended up slipping into the guest room at one point, only to have her sneak it 5 minutes before the alarm went off.

Damn, I was tired. After dropping off the kids I came home, did my same morning routine: eggs, bacon and caffeine. But I felt like a zombie, face felt puffy, I drank a little more water. Just wasn’t mentally there. I decided to cut internet time and read a bit, but 2 pages in I had no clue of anything I just read. Could I sleep? I just had a red bull, I won’t be able to fall asleep. Oh, but I did.


Was smart enough to set an alarm before dozing off. I told myself, only 1 hour, because I need to make it to the gym in time for a swim. That 1 hour felt only as if I slept 5 minutes. I didn’t want to get out of bed…. Get up!. No, just 5 more minutes. I lay there and reevaluate the time I have to make it to the gym, swim, shower, then pick up the kids. I cant magically add minutes to the day. Wake up! My body wasn’t tired, I was just in this weird mental fog. Man I could probably sleep for days right now.

Then laying there like a schmuck, I thought of a line from one of my favorite motivational YOUTUBE videos. I love this video (click), I’ve listened to it on repeat for an entire 3 hour trainer ride once. One of my favorite lines from the video is from Eric Thomas : “You just kind of want it. You don’t want it badder than you want to party. You don’t want it as much as you want to be cool. Most of you don’t want success as much as you want to sleep. Some of you want sleep more than you want success. And I’m here to tell you today that if you want to be successful you got to be willing to give up sleep.”
IMG_0584IMG_0582You’re gonna be tired 10 hours into an Ironman. How you gonna wake up and be able to paddle another 45 mile day? Learn to work tired. You just KINDA want it don’t you? Get the heck up! <— Me talking to myself as I threw myself out of bed. It was hard to get up. I bitched (sorry for the language, but its really what I did) around looking for my backpack, clothes, food, water and more food. I got my headphones in and my jams going, and slowly woke the heck up.

You cant just kinda want it. You have to make sacrifices.

No this is NOT my job. Yes, you need to rest in order to recover (but this wasn’t the case here, I slept 8 hours the night before). And for the people that I have to say that to, well zip your trap, because YOU only kinda want it.

What happened was pushing through MY excuses and getting things done. I needed to swim yesterday. It ended up being a great swim. I fought a little inner battle. Seriously, Ive thrown myself into some hard things. I’m limited on time. I actually think of Mark in situations like this, I don’t know how many times he’s said “how bad do you want it?” <— Not exactly like that, because if he did I would probably throw a shoe at his head, but he slips it into conversations, and it pisses me off so bad, I usually go and get whatever it is done.

Make a choice. Just decide what it’s gonna be, who you’re gonna be, how you are going to do it. Just decide.” – Will Smith, again from THIS VIDEO <— Just watch it… On replay for 3 hours… It’ll change your life.



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