There is something in my room…

IMG_0859What have you been doing? Um, do you not stalk me via social media like I do YOU? I have been knitting like a little ole’ lady with nothing to do and 10 dachshunds to make sweaters for. Ha! But seriously I have been knitting, probably for you.

Other than yarn, and hats… there was something in my room (well the guest room, sorry guests).

Before I get to whats lurking in my room lets recap a little. I am tired. More like exhausted. I’ve been staying up too late knitting while watching the history channel (I am a pro on all knowledge of ancient aliens). Plus add in Ironman training, phew, thank goodness next week starts a taper.  Keeping up house, keeping the kids entertained and fed. Plus… just everything.

Along with being physically a little tired (though I feel like I am kicking ass), I am mentally fried. I stay up till I cant see anymore and make my way to bed every night with one eye open. I look like Igor hobbling to bed, because once I get off the couch, (for some reason) I walk hunched over, straight to my bed and throw myself on it. Then with face in the pillow, I some how kick my legs around till I am halfway under the covers, and pass out.

I am DEAD to the world. BOOM. Passed out, sleeping good. Yes, yes, I know I should go to bed earlier, but if I don’t go to bed EXHAUSTED I just lay there with my mind running for hours…

So last night, I was asleep…. sleeping good. Until I hear something **TUMP TUMP TUMP**, not “thump”, but TUMP. I am still laying on my stomach, lift my head up, look over my shoulder and think “what the hell?”. Where is this noise coming from? ALL AROUND ME.

I don’t hear it again, and put my head down. My heart is racing a little, I don’t want to freak myself out, I relax and put my head down. Then ***TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP!***, I sit up, throw the blankets, “WHAT THE HELL!!?!?!”<— as if my voice will SCARE whatever is happening. The sound is coming from above me, the noise happens again, ***TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP! TUMP!***, I look up and see a dark shadow shoot across ceiling. “OH MY GOD!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!”.

IMG_0861I jumped out of bed, bashing my knee on the treadmill (did I say I am sleeping in the guest room because… Just because bed feels better?….), I am so pumped with adrenaline that I barely feel it, I fall out the door, into the hallway where I look over my shoulder and see the shadow again SHOOT towards me…

Now I have the bathroom light on, so there is some light filling the little hallway, so when this dark creatures shoots (really it kinda floated) towards me into the hallway, I realize its not dark, but orange, and its not a creature, its a balloon. A damn balloon. A balloon that was in its last days, that I forgot I hid in the closet (why I didn’t pop it? Because the kids would have cried as if I killed a bunny rabbit), it must have floated out, and up into the fan (hence the *TUMP TUMP TUMP*).

I am so mad at this balloon. But its 12:30 am, I cant pop it, I actually carry it into the kitchen (dragging it like a bad child), and tie it to the pantry door <— most random thing to do but I really didn’t know what to do with it. I was pissed, fuming, still scared, and STARVING.

Starving? Yeah, don’t ask, but I’ve been so hungry lately that I would eat tubs of butter if I thought it would stick to my bones and fill me. So now I am starving, and staring at the balloon, as I stand in the middle of the kitchen.

Eggos! I bought eggos. I spent the rest of my night eating 5 eggos smothered in syrup, while staring at the balloon tied to the door…. I just stared, and ate every morsel of those dang Eggos. I had to stay up for another hour because I was STILL scared (every time I thought of being scared I would look over to the pantry door and squint at the balloon, just floating there like it owns the place).

I eventually went to bed, only to sleep in too late… Woke up late, hurried the kids to eat breakfast, where CHLOE sees the balloon tied to the door…. “BAAAALLLLLLOOOOOON!!!” <– She runs to it, like its her long lost love. She grabs it, confused why its tied to the door, meanwhile I am watching her, I am EXHAUSTED, and you know what I did? I walked right up to her and that balloon, yanked it from her hands, and POPPED it.

Yep, right in front of her face. Her little round face just looked up at me, in complete shock, then said “Mama, you’re crazy!”, I could only stare down at her, not knowing what to say, but feeling amazing with the pay back on the balloon, eventually I snapped out of my glorious moment of revenge, looked down at Chloe, who is still staring at me like I am crazy but with also this little face demanding an explanation on to why I murdered her precious balloon…

That little brat crossed her arms across her chest, and gave me a “look”. I bent over, looked her square in the eyes and said/screamed “SOCKS AND SHOES!!!!!”, she rolled her eyes, threw her arms in the air and walked away muttering “Socks and shoes, socks and shoes, its always socks and shoes, but my balloon has no sock and shoes!” <—– NOW insert the crying as if I killed a bunny rabbit in front of her….

How was YOUR morning?

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