I’ve been lounging with Mark for the past couple of days, only getting in a 2 hour bike ride, and thats it.
I stayed up so late last night, just staring at the bedside table. FREAKING THE FUDGE OUT. I cant emphasize this anymore… wait yes, I can. I WAS LOSING MY DAMN MIND.
I knew there was a little person saying “Ha! And you thought your little doubts a couple days before was your freakout, well you’re going to learn TODAY!“.
Im out of shape. Not even lean enough. Why not? Running. My running is so far back. Id be so much leaner if I had my running. Why haven’t I been running? Egh. Time. My hip. Was there even enough workouts in my schedule. What the hell am I doing?!
As I type this (and remember Mark leaning over trying to calm me down), I didn’t worry about my swim or my bike… really or the run… I have this feeling of feeling like a bloated chunky heifer that is just eating at me.
I knew the whole time this was a freakout. Well not the whole time. I got in bed at 9:30, I don’t think I fell asleep till 1:30am. Maybe those last 30 minutes I snapped out of it, and said “You’re fine“, “You have so much in the bank!“, “You have been running ALL year“, “Your body needed a break.“, “Think of all those killer bike workouts“…. “What are you gonna do? Quit? Psssh, didn’t think so , so shut the hell up and go to sleep“.
I have 3 hours before I have to be out the door and on the way to the airport. My neck is stuck in one place. I’ve been awkwardly plucking my eyebrows (I don’t even know the last time I even dealt with these things).
I’ll be fine once I’ve had some caffeine, and a crazy pill, and a hug, and once my bags are packed, and once I am on the damn plane with knitting in hand…. MAYBE then I will breathe.
I share this because its real. I am not all super Ironman person, doing back flips, all packed with itinerary in hand (hell I have to look up my flight time last night at midnight….), I am just YOU. Average person, with a twist of lime and some margarita salt…. Mmmm…. Margarita….
Going to document the entire trip via INSTAGRAM. Sorry Facebook friends, you will be slammed so those that are not on Instagram (family) can keep up with the crazy.
So yeah…. I need to get back to these eyebrows…. and maybe pack my bags….