You guys I always have way too much to say. Thing is, I say it all to myself inside, take it way over board, then complete stress/jazz myself off on whatever the topic is. I blame not being able to talk to adults in person.
Lucky enough I have 2 friends that call and TALK to me on a normal basis. I feel as though they both know (I don’t feel it, I KNOW) that I need someone to talk to. Not because I need to talk about my feelings, but just to SPEAK OUT LOUD (and not just to myself). It helps to know that I have SOMEONE to TALK too. Thank you.
This past week was QUICK. Way too quick. Well when you are knitting your fingers off and don’t have enough time in the day, well time moves quickly. Set yourself up with a list of 62 caps to be made and that will light a fire under your ass and leave you desperately searching for more time.
Yeah, you read that right. 62 caps. Thats how many I have on a waiting list. Crazy huh? A complete blessing. You don’t know how much I wish, that I was capable of just instantly whipping up a hat for everyone. Everyone has been so patient with me, and I am beyond grateful. I didn’t think they would take off, or that there were so many people wanting to support me (because you aren’t just buying yourself a cap, you are getting me to a 100 MILE SUP race AND the Yukon 1000). I get a tear in my eye every time someone asks for one.
So far I have completely 38 caps. Not all have been for donations, so many were gifts, but I have raised enough money so far to cover ALL costs (yarn, shipping materials, labels) and pay for my entry into the 100 MILE PADDLE (anxiously awaiting for registration to open). Further funds will go into the fundraising portion of the race, transportation, food, lodging, and the random crap that comes up with a race.
Though I am trying to live in the moment, and focus on one race, well it just cant happen. There is so much planning & budgeting going on, that its hard to just look at ONE thing, I have to take EVERYTHING into account. This is big because my goal was to get myself there on MY OWN. Not have Mark pay for any of it, well he told me I couldn’t do it (just cant afford it), then I said yes I could…
Additional things that are through my mind are any TRIATHLON races that I would like to do and The YUKON 1000.
In my mind, I feel if I just grocery shop efficiently and didn’t eat out, I could save enough to throw in some TRI races. I have some goals that I would like to hit, and I know I cant just sit back and let it be. Maybe its because endurance sports are an addiction, but I cant wait till September to do something big. My body and mind are itching to have something in between. I need focus. Need a game plan.
Other than triathlon taking my mind, the YUKON 1000 is creeping in BIG and freaking me out. Have I talked much about that? A 1000 mile kayak race through the Yukon in July 2016. Yep, ALREADY registered. Want to know something funny? I don’t even OWN a kayak (but am on the market, been saving like a squirrel for it, do you know of any sales or anyone wanting to unload one?). Yeah… Start freaking out a little bit with me.
Its not the physical demands that I am stressed about. I trust completely in my coach to guide me to the race. The biggest stress is EVERYTHING I need. I have to live out of a Kayak for 8-12 days, and battle with grizzly bears. <— Ok, not really with the bears, but the bears are kinda a big issue. I am more nervous to camp, then to paddle 1000 miles. I am ridiculous. Hahahaha, I am shaking thinking about costs and bears.
Though it all may sound insane, I feel good with it. I know I am on the right path with challenging myself physically, and giving myself focus on how to bring my life together to achieve grand plans. 2015 is going to be a huge learning process. I am so excited. I wish I could share just a fraction of my love/excitement I have for stepping out of my comfort zone, and dropping limitations.
But please know I am not doing this alone. I live off the power Mark (hubs) and friends give me. Small messages from friends (or even just acquaintances) get me through the day. I am not a GREAT athlete. Not a super human. I am just someone with a dream, and with a desire to go further. I am really just a Mom that is trying to not get lost being “Mom”. My name is Christina and I want to do great things. I pray that my kids will see and remember all of this. That they will never set limitations on themselves. If you want something, YOU CAN make it happen. Yes, its probably going to be hard, but you will learn new things and meet great people along the way.
My goal here (on this blog) is not to boast, but to SHARE and document my life. I really don’t want to be famous. I get nervous when I talk to people and they bring up my accomplishments, because I really don’t think its all that big of a deal. There are people out there doing so much more. Plus I think raising 4 kids is way more challenging then the physical acts I put my body through. The average person amazes me. We are all amazing in our own way.
**Please take note above to the taped handle. I woke up this morning with the kids walking beside me begging me to not be mad, because they broke something, but “Don’t worry mom I fixed it!” <– My little Mark. Chloe made sure she told me that the tape was her idea, and that Mark just did the labor. Its not really even broken, just needs to be tightened. Their effort to fix things though made me giggle to myself. All things can be fixed…. Little nervous when they find out what duct tape is…**