Well I am going to use my training as a platform for week 3 Blogger Challenge. The challenge was to MAKE something. Now, I make something EVERYDAY. So this topic was a little tough for me because I wanted it to be different. Hell you all know I knit, whats different about that? And whats challenging about? Its easy to write about.
So I am MAKING an EFFORT to keep the world (and myself) up to date with my training. I’ll totally admit that I am HAPPILY a secret trainer. My workouts are MINE, not yours. They are my precious moments of clarity, that I use to survive day by day. Though they are mine, I thought you would like to see the real moments and hard work that is going to have to go into this year. I have been given so much support from all the people who have purchased my KNITTY caps, I want to share. You just didn’t purchase a cap to warm your noggin, you have kinda become one of my sponsors. Each cap has been personal, maybe you just see a cap, but I see me one step closer to getting to my race, and am extremely thankful that you have supported my crazy endeavor.
Lets be honest up front, getting into the groove this time around as been mentally hard. I have no motivation. No “umph”. The spunk I have has kinda decided to chill back with a corona and some kettle cooked oil & vinegar potato chips, and completely not give a shit if I do anything or not. I keep reaching in my workouts for the climax, I feel like I am reaching…reaching…reaching, but cant grab that motivation that rolls me forward.
Lets get crazy, and totally inappropriate (this is a heads up). To me the best way to describe it, is like an orgasm (yep, crossed the line). Well an orgasm that didn’t happen. Yeah, things feel good (like workouts make you feel better about yourself), and they build up (you are kinda consistent for a couple days, feeling proud of yourself), but. you. cant. quite. get. there. Then the moment is done, and your pissed off and just want to walk away and forget it all. Normally in an orgasm (for women, because who knows how men work), reaching the “WOW” moment is COMPLETELY mental. Things are totally happening the right way, but if you mentally lose focus… Boom its over, you lost it and its not coming back.
So what I am saying is, all the parts are working, but my mind just isn’t there. But I am totally horny for a training climax. <— I wish I could see your faces as you read this. Are you blushing? Cause I totally am.
Though in a bit of a slump, I have been surrounded by the most inspiring people. Lets start with Martin & Bethany from Living Vandal, oh and “the best dog in the world”, Katie Lou. Just this past weekend en route back home from the Cold Stroke Classic, they graciously stopped by Jacksonville to:
1. Check out Hanna Park and get in a fun trail run.
2. Invite me and the kids to their campsite to check out their bad ass VAN they do all their adventures in (I am totally getting one, completely serious), all the while loading the kids up on smores.
3. Spend nearly 3 hours with me on a lake (and dry land) going over the science and biomechanics of the sport of Paddling. It was the most intense lesson I have ever been part of… ever.
Now a shout out to them. You guys not only gave me a great start into my SUP training, the both of you also came at a time I really needed some adult interaction. Really you guys saved me those 2 days. Its hard to explain, but please know I am extremely thankful for fighting the mayberry police, adult interaction and a great day out on the water. Thank you.
This post is almost turning into a grateful post, but really training lately has been all mental. There will be posts where I share my workouts, but honestly the mental game has been my biggest challenge so far in starting my training year. The people around me (well via social media, and by chance in person) have been part of my training. I feel its appropriate to describe them in my “training post”
Last but not least, my biggest motivator that has been keeping me afloat is my Coach Audra. I remember one of the biggest draws that had me first work with Audra nearly 6 years ago (damn, been awhile huh? She was my first personal trainer), was that she was a little hard core, bad ass, extremely professional and was/is a mom. She’s been there done that. Lived the military life. Knows what its like to want to be YOU, not just mom, but YOU. Though she takes no prisoners, she has had the most profound impact on my life via her compassion to her athletes. She’s known what I need, when I need it. Like this voice message she sent me when she knew I was in a dark place mentally with my training…
“We all go through this Christina. Where we all feel like we have no motivation and cant get up and do what we need to do, and its like ‘why the fuck am I doing this anyway? Its the same monotonous bullshit day after day‘. But then you get up and you do it one day, and it feels good. And the next day you want to go longer and you want to push harder. And it feels better. You just have to get over the fucking hump. And trust me, even the most motivated world class athletes go through this. You are not alone babe. Just get up, fucking get on your bike. Ride, I don’t care how fast you go, or how hard you go just get up and fucking do it. Love you.”
Reading it may sound a little harsh, but she said it in the most caring way. Sometimes I guess you need someone to tell you to “just get up and fucking do it.”
So welcome to my mental game. I promise to keep it as real as possible. Training for anything while trying to maintain life is a challenge in itself. But if you really want something, you can make it happen. The only thing holding you back is yourself. Don’t blame others, because in the end you LET them be there. Its all on you. Its hard. Its mental. You may be horny for a training climax.
In the end though, as Coach A. says, “just get up and fucking do it.”