My hubs isn’t the most romantic of men (like AT ALL). It sounds mean, but I guess more with the romance we see in the movies and read about <— Is that even real? Pshh. It can be tough at times to accept that its just the way that person is, and to appreciate how he DOES love you.
I’ve been married going on 8 years. 6 duty stations. 2 kids. Lived in another country.
I’ve learned a lot and so little at the same time. I’ve been impatient and demanding. Same vice-versa with him. Again though he is isn’t the romancer, he is the greatest supporter. Now Ill be honest and say that we have had our short comings, I’ve been left in the dust at times, broken and sad. But I’ve come to realize that we were both sitting in the dust with so much dirt in our eyes that we were blinded to the fact that we HAD each other.
Though he can fail in scooping me up in a white horse with awesome hair, flowers, and a box of chocolates. HE CAN come in like a coach and give it to me straight and build me up.
I had to share an email from Mark. A response from a batshit crazy filled day. But I feel it didn’t just apply to me, it can apply to any of us that are alone or FEEL alone…
I love you. The reason you feel alone is because you are alone. When
your friends are gone and the kids are at school you are alone in an
empty house. It doesn’t help I am gone all the time and can’t help to
fill you up between being at work and coming home. It’s ok and its
The big thing though is that you have to find something that CONSUMES
your day. Working out, cleaning the house, checking out a new place you
heard/read, take a class even if it isn’t a college course but just a
short course like art, computer, photography, etc. Keep your days full
to keep you from reflecting on that feeling of being alone.
Focus on the positives. You do have the kids, while they aren’t me, at
least you’re with people who love you and are learning. Take them to a
kid’s museum if there is one in JAX. Enjoy seeing them learn new things
and have new experiences.
Even with a full day, you’ll have days
where you wish I was doing the damn dishes or asking why you are
listening to an idiot teach you something you already know. Just know
that I know you don’t feel like this all the time.
Remember your mantra for the new year – focus on the positive. Whenever
you feel alone instead of focusing on that think of something you can do
with the time. It will be hard to fight the momentum, but you’ll feel
better for doing it. It’s like getting a workout in when your tired,
you feel better when you are done.
You’re TOUGH! Keep plugging through. Take advantage of the times you
feel good. Allow yourself to have your break downs and then after dust
yourself off, wipe your tears and get back in. There is NO CRYING IN
Last thing I leave you with this:
The Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the
strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them
better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;
who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort
without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the
deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends
himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph
of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails
while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold
and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
I hope this helps. I love you.