It may or may not be the coffee that has me a nervous hysterical wreck.
Ya know what, I don’t look like a wreck… Well I don’t look amazing, but I feel as though if you were to see me, you would think “ah, she is handling this well”, when really inside there are multiple forms of myself…
One who is…
- Projectile vomiting
- Crying (like snot, hysterics crying)
- Pulling out my hair
- Twitching in a corner, thinking that every thing everyone touches has flu virus (thank you micro class)
- Drinking of cup of coffee whilst reading a book, while also ignoring other versions of myself
- Riding a unicorn, while holding a giant sword in the air screaming at everyone to shut the f*ck up and pull their shit together.
- On a beach in St.Lucia, wearing huge sunglasses, waiting for the bartender who looks like Ludacris to bring me another banana smoothie concoction that is high in alcohol content
- Knitting, while laughing hysterically at all the other forms of myself, with a random “shit!” because I dropped a stitch because I am seriously laughing so hard with tears rolling down my face over the shit show these next 2 weeks will be.
Hi, my name is Christina, I am military spouse, mom, full time student, part time worker, who is 8 days from our pack-out date, and I think my husband is going to an exotic island, amidst chaos (no joke). How the hell are you?
It was stepping out of my car today, while trying to balance iced coffee and avocado toast on a piece of bamboo that it hit me, pretty mentally hard, that we have 11 more days left in San Diego. Within those 11 days..
- 2 packing days
- 1 pack out day
- 7 Lacrosse practices
- 6 Microbiology/Lab days
- 1 exam
- 1 final
- 6 sans husband (the final 6 of course, I expect nothing less)
- 2 living in a hotel
Those are the only bullets in which my consciousness wants to acknowledge right now. Within all of this chaos, my heart is a tad, a big tad… damn, my heart is broken realizing we are really leaving San Diego. To some, San Diego is just another duty station, to me, this has been the closest to being “home”.
I honestly have tears in my eyes as I type… We have been the happiest and the busiest here in San Diego. We didn’t do all the tourist things that SD has to offer, be we lived like Californians… Californians who live at the beach (a bit of a difference from the valley life). The laid back lifestyle made things easier with Mark and the kids as I spent these past 2 years going to school and working. I’ve gotten my CNA (certified nursing assistant), EMT (emergency medical technician), and all pre-requisites complete for nursing school. Along the way have made amazing friends, experienced life changing moments, and been inspired by so many people.
The sunsets have been gorgeous lately. I feel as though they have been extra sexy, ya know, when in the midst of break up, someone gets all super hot just to throw it in your face, “Your gonna leave all of THIS?”. In which like a creeper, I say “yes” and reach for my phone, in which I will forever keep a photo album of San Diego sunsets. Even from my night classes, if I stare out the lab window at the right time I see the gorgeous sky fade behind a plethora of palm trees and NAVY destroyers on the bay, I normally poke my chemistry lab partners and say “dude, look at that sunset”, which they normally look at me like “DUDE you say that every time”.
*Sigh* In the midst of the heartbreak of leaving, the excitement of a new adventure, and the stress of all the crap involved with moving, I want to document all of this. Document it while I am still here, I wont be able to capture it all, but to capture a *sigh* for future reflection will totally be worth it.
WIsh me luck.