Category Archives: #CANTSTOPWONTSTOP

Bloggers Anonymous: POWER WORD

UntitledIf you have been following (slightly) along my Facebook page or have read previous posts, you know that I am doing a 12 week blogging project with other bloggers to inspire and motivate one another on documenting life. What initially triggered the motivation of the project might have been a little selfish? Um, selfish isn’t the right word. It was something that I had planned on doing.

There are a lot of things I wanted to focus in on this year, so I decided to write them down. At the same time I was coming across random posts from Facebook friends, and remembering other friends that randomly blogged. These people put a positive impression on my life, even if it was just a random FB post or old blog entry, their positivity inspired me to not only do this for myself, but to encourage others to do the same. Oh, and I just love reading other peoples views on the world. We as humans are amazing and live in the most diverse worlds. The anthropology us of all is mind blowing. I want more…
Within the past 6 months, mostly within the last month, I have been reaching out for something. Mainly, being POSITIVE. My goal above all else in EVERY situation that has come forth lately is to: be, stay and find the positivity in everything. I’ve been desperately avoiding all negativity.

If I find you negative, I have been trying to have nothing to say. If you can physically make my chest hurt, and even slightly hurt my feelings, well I’ve been stepping back. I don’t need that in my life. To be honest, negativity in ALL forms (nasty people, racism, shootings, rape) that has been scouring my social media feeds, and topics of conversations between friends has made me cry, fall into a spiral of depression, and has physically made me sick. There may be something wrong with me, or I am just MAXED out of evil. Who knows, but I am now trying to fix it.
Its amazing how we can even let one persons negativity hurt us so much. Even when we have done nothing wrong and have stood up for ourselves over and over, only to get punched down constantly. Until you realize that there is so much evil and negativity there, that there is NOTHING you can do but to take yourself out of the situation. Ha, I guess you can have a moment of clarity and think “Dude, fuck you. I wash my hands ( <—might be the wrong phrase on that, but its how I feel) This is stupid, and I am OUT!” <— That sounds negative in itself, but *shrug* sometimes its what you got to do to step back.

Positivity. I saw how being positive in all things can play on performance. At Ironman Arizona our goal was to “be positive” and “keep the crazy away” (that was Tori’s job). Spending that trip laughing, dropping bad things, and looking forward to the amazing that was about to happen… Well that weekend showed me that with a little work, and with good intentions, GREAT things can happen. I want this for my entire life.

UntitledAlso warning to friends/family: I don’t want your gossip and or mindless bitching stemmed from hate.

Sorry. The past month I thought “Ok, I will give people 5 minutes to vent. As a friend I should be there and listen”. Then I started to think of how long 5 minutes was… Too damn long. Long enough for hate to spiral through me, and now we have just let more nastiness into the world. I don’t want any part of it. But please know I am here to listen, you have 1 minute, to get it off your chest. But once the problem/anger has been put on the line, we then are probably going to look at the positive side, and or try and step back from the situation and try to see it through others perspectives.

UntitledWith POSITIVITY being my primary focus in life, FREEDOM will stem from it.

I want to be FREE. I want to be able to be who I want, without someone stomping on my eccentricities.

I want to be able to get MYSELF to places, this is funding myself in all things, and knowing no one can tell me NO.

To be able to see a future with the help of no one <— Its more me knowing that if something were to happen, I can take care of myself, and I am not screwed over because I have lived a life dependent on someone else.

UntitledPOSITIVITY & FREEDOM. They are my power words for 2015. They are kinda BIG, STRONG words. A lot of HARD will come into place to achieve both things. As always I am looking forward to the HARD. Looking forward to what I will learn, what will hurt, what I will gain along the way. It then end its life, and I am living it… On my own terms.

Check out others POWER WORDs from some to the bloggers participating in the The Bloggers Anonymous: 12 Week Project
She’s Checking Out: TRUST
Grace Beyond Limits: GRACE & DETERMINATION
Mara.Thong.Irl: BRAVE & BOLDLY
Living Out Loud: STAND UP!
Sandborn to Run: TRUST

**No worries, will share each bloggers POWER WORD post once posted, NO RUSH!**
***Pictures are all just totally random from my phone lately***



UntitledToday I got a “friendly” reminder on why I am knitting all these magical caps.

I also got a friendly reminder that no one owns me, and that we control our own lives. I feel as though I could easily be a dog, tuck my tail between my legs, walk away, then lay there with my head on my feet, waiting and hoping for change, but will obediently sit there until beckoned or owner feels bad enough to take me outside to throw the ball around.

Honestly, yes, I guess you can say that EVERYTHING that I do is selfish. Though I really don’t look at it that way, I TRULY look at everything I do, as something that helps me survive, and not just ME, but for my little family.

I am not a single mom. But it has just been the kids and I for awhile, and it will be for awhile longer. I am totally ok with that. I knew what I was getting into. At the same time, though my family is paused in happiness together, it doesn’t mean that one should stop living and chasing dreams.

I don’t know what I am really trying to say…. I am trying to be calm… but there is a little psycho person with deranged eyes, hair in dreds w/rainbow colors running around inside of me with protest signs proclaiming “DOWN WITH NORMAL“. This same little person sets shit on fire, then laughs at it like a mad scientist.

Don’t EVER let ANYONE set limitations on you. Be whoever you want to be in your dreams. If you truly want it, you CAN and WILL make it happen… Even if you have to knit 77 knit caps….